


I Hear Your Voice In The Wind

by emthefireybird



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Emotional Constipation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Pining, Singing, flustered merlin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-03-06 21:01:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18859048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emthefireybird/pseuds/emthefireybird
Summary: Arthur hears Merlin singing to himself one day, and takes it upon himself to hear it as much as possible from that day on. On the other side of things, he recognizes the song he's singing. But where could it be from?





	1. The Incident

Arthur walked along the corridor to his chambers. He had just finished his training for that day, and was thankful to be coming inside, far from the beaming sunlight that scorched his eyes and warmed his skin. He had left Merlin behind that day, since he had once again shown up late and had yet to finish cleaning his chambers.

As Arthur neared his door, he heard… singing? He paused for a moment a couple meters from the door, listening to confirm his hearing, then stepped right up to the door to listen more closely. It was definitely singing. Good singing, too. The kind that wasn’t paid for, or preformed, but simply appreciated when one heard it. It was a natural voice that sounded like birdsong and leaves rustling on the wind.

Arthur wondered for a moment who was singing from inside his chambers. He had never heard Merlin sing before, but he was the only person who could have feasibly been in there. Arthur knew the song that was being sung, it was familiar. He knew he had heard it somewhere, but he simply could not catch but a few words through the door.

“...wish I could take you there… 

...be happy...”

Seeing a servant coming down the hall, he decided he had creeped on his own servant for long enough. As he opened the door, the sweet voice stopped immediately.

“Don’t stop on my accord.” He commented lightly as he entered the room. Merlin, who was in the midst of wiping down the furniture with a damp rag, flushed scarlet. Arthur decided it was a good look for him, the blush reaching all the way from the bridge of his nose to the tips of his ears.

“You heard that?” He asked quietly.

“I think everyone in the west wing heard it.” Arthur commented casually, not seeing it as an issue.

“Oh.” Merlin looked utterly embarrassed. Arthur, for his part, could not understand why. Merlin had a nice voice, and other people hearing it shouldn’t be a bad thing. Of course, telling Merlin such would be rather awkward, and would likely put a damper in their teasing banter.

“Draw a cool bath, would you? I’m sweating like a pig here.” Arthur ordered, distracting Merlin from his task, and more importantly, whatever he was thinking about.

“Pigs don’t sweat, Arthur.” Merlin commented as he tossed his rag into a bucket.

“Shut up, Merlin.”


	2. The Armory

Arthur came up to the armory quietly. He wanted to see if Merlin was singing again, and knew he would stop the moment he heard footsteps approaching. Arthur had ordered Merlin to polish his armor earlier, under the guise of it needing cleaning. But Arthur didn’t really care about that at the moment. He simply wished to hear his manservant sing again.

Arthur had certainly considered ordering Merlin to sing for him, but the idea seemed… off. Merlin was so flustered and embarrassed when he realized Arthur had heard him on accident, that Arthur had a feeling making him sing for him would be awkward and embarrassing for Merlin, rather than pleasant.

As he neared the door, sure enough he heard the same light tune in the same quiet voice. This time Arthur heard only slightly more of his words, and as he captured them, the song became more and more familiar.

“-soaring through the open air, oh how I wish I could take you there

To be happy and safe-”

Arthur, not wanting to disturb his singing servant, decided to simply sit down beside the door, listening fondly to his voice.

Arthur had never considered that Merlin of all people would have such a voice. His bumbling, clumsy servant never crossed his mind as someone who would have such a hidden talent. The thought made Arthur wonder what else he didn’t know about Merlin. His musing was interrupted as the door beside him opened, revealing the very servant his mind was full of.

“Arthur?” Merlin was already blushing again. “What are you doing here?” It was Arthur’s turn to blush.

Arthur, not wanting to admit that he had come to listen to Merlin, simply said, “I was waiting for you. You take forever with those things, you know?” The scolding was not heartfelt, and he knew Merlin could tell, but the real question was whether on not he would bring it up.

“Sorry, sire.” He sighed deeply, offering his open hand to the prince. He accepted it but put absolutely no weight on Merlin as he pulled himself up. He knew better, that Merlin would simply fall downwards, and he didn’t want him and his armor scattered across the ground.

“Shall we?” Merlin gestured towards the training grounds with his head. Arthur nodded.

“We shall.”


	3. Conflicted

Arthur was tired. He had spent the good part of his day in meetings with his father, conspiring against the druids that were reported to have been see in the west of the kingdom. Arthur had told his father that they would be long gone before they could do anything about them, but Uther didn’t listen, of course. The druids were known for being nomads, moving around the land constantly because the kingdom was after them. Regardless of that. Uther had decided to put out a patrol to go find them. Thankfully for Arthur, he was not a part of this patrol.  
Really, what Arthur was thinking about now was not druids, he was thinking of Merlin. He had left his servant in his chambers to go about menial tasks while Arthur was occupied. More important than that, though, is that Merlin was not sure when Arthur would be coming back. Meaning Arthur might be able to listen to Merlin’s absent-minded singing for a bit before Merlin would notice.

As Arthur neared his chamber doors, sure enough he heard the same quiet melody drifting into the halls. He walked quietly, not wanting Merlin to have any inclination that he was there. As he stood by the door, Arthur heard more of the lyrics than he had. Merlin’s singing was louder than usual, though he didn’t think his servant was aware. He managed to catch more of the words than ever before.

“-with their maidens far, oh how I wish I could bring you there, to wonder-”

Arthur was a perplexed by the song that Merlin seemed to know so well. The tune was very familiar to Arthur, but for some reason, he was unable to place where he had heard it before now. The song sounded like a deep, comfortable memory, hazy and yet still prominent in his mind.

“- dwarves in their mountains with jewels so rare-”

His mind drifted, as if attempting to pull the memory back to the surface. He remembered soft light, warmth, and a face he didn’t recognize. The memory was disconcerting, as if reminding him of a time that never happened. Arthur shook his head, as if he could shake away the feeling like a dog shakes off water. He wasn’t sure he wanted to remember.

Sighing deeply, Arthur opened the door, followed by the immediate stop to the song. He was almost relieved this time, though he did miss the singing itself.

Merlin was in the middle of sweeping under the rug, which, Arthur realized with some annoyance, had not been done in some time.

“Hello, Arthur.” Merlin greeted casually. Arthur wished that Merlin would use his name more than he did, though it was improper for him to not address him as his title, Arthur had begun not to care. The idea of Merlin greeting him like a friend was refreshing is comparison to everyone holding him on a pedestal as they usually did.

“Merlin.” Arthur walked over and sunk down onto his bed, falling back as he let out a low huff. His legs dangled over the side of the bed, toes skimming over the floor. He had now realized that all the meeting had given him a nasty headache. He lazily threw an arm over his eyes in an attempt to block out the light around him.

“The meetings were that good, huh?” Merlin commented absently.

“They were fantastic.” Arthur grumbled sarcastically, closing his eyes. It was also nice to know that he didn’t have to tell Merlin when he was having a bad day, that he would just know.

“Anything I can do to remedy that?” Merlin asked. He could hear it as Merlin put the broom away and approached the bed where he was resting.

“Go home, I want to sleep.” Arthur gestured lazily to the door. He listened as Merlin walked over to the door. A thought came to him. “Oh, and tell Gaius that I expect a headache draft every day I have meetings from now on.”

“Yes, sire.” The door creaked loudly as Merlin opened it.

“Oh, and Merlin?” He called.

“Yes, sire?”

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Arthur.” Arthur could practically hear him grinning. It was a nice thought. 

As the door thudded closed, Arthur didn’t bother to move. He had a lot to think over before he could actually go to sleep.

In Arthur’s opinion, he was beginning to have a bit of a problem. He was conflicted. He really enjoyed Merlin’s singing, but he wasn’t sure how to go about it. He couldn’t keep sneaking up on him just to hear his voice, and beside that, that song. Arthur was determined to find out what it was, where he had heard it from. He knew the logical thing would be to simply ask Merlin about it, but that would be rather embarrassing, likely for both of them. Merlin didn’t want anyone to hear him sing, an Arthur didn’t want to ask him to sing. They were at a stalemate. 

Beyond even the singing factor, Arthur had begun to feel more of an urge to spend time with his servant. Mind you, he was around a lot, but that’s not what Arthur meant. He simply wanted to sit and talk, not doing anything, just talking like friends would. It was a complicated and contradictory feeling. Merlin was his servant, he shouldn’t have an urge to casually spend time with him.

Arthur was tired, in more than one sense of the word. Shirking his boots, he decided it was time to go to bed, he would figure this out tomorrow.

He didn’t sleep very well.


	4. What to Say?

“Arthur, why do you keep eavesdropping on me?” Arthur’s heart stopped. He knew. Now that Arthur thought about it, how couldn’t he? Even someone as dense as Merlin would begin to suspect something after a few too many coincidences. 

“Um…”

“Did I do something to make you suspicious?” He asks, looking at him questioningly. He looks almost hurt. Merlin was holding an armful of Arthur’s armor that he’d just helped him take off. Arthur rolled his shoulder and sighed. He had known that this was going to come up eventually, but was hoping it was going to be longer than it had.

“No.” Arthur answered simply, still attempting to buy himself time despite everything.

“Then what is it? I know you think I’m dense but I can hear you when you creep on me.” Merlin sat the armor down on a nearby bench.

“With ears like those I’m not surprised.” Arthur jeered.

“Stop that.” Merlin crossed his arms and looked at him sternly.

“What?”

“Stop insulting me to distract me.” Arthur stopped for a moment. That was exactly what he was doing, wasn’t it? He didn’t know what to say. There was a long pause in which Merlin stared at him expectantly, arms still crossed.

“I’m just gonna go.” Merlin sighed, beginning to walk away.

“Wait!”

“What.” Merlin’s tone was sharp to the point that Arthur felt as if he’d literally been cut by a single word. Arthur rubbed at the back of his neck, sighing yet again. Why was it so hard to say? To pay Merlin a sincere compliment? Arthur didn’t know, but he couldn’t back down now.  
“I… I was eavesdropping because I like your voice. I like when you sing, but you always stop the moment you see me.” Arthur was having trouble looking Merlin in the eyes. For a moment, his heart pounded as he anticipated Merlin’s reply.

Then, Merlin began to laugh. Cackle, really. Arthur was taken aback.

“What?” Arthur asked, looking over his shoulder as if looking for what Merlin was so amused by.

Merlin’s laugh faded out into a fit of quiet giggles. “It’s just-” Merlin paused to laugh again “-I thought it was something bad, or more, I don’t know, worrisome? You could have just asked me about it.” His laughter had finally fully died out, now he simple gazed at Arthur amused expression.

“I just- well, you seemed embarrassed when I walked in on you.” Arthur told him in an attempt to defend his actions.

“Oh. That’s… strangely thoughtful of you, Arthur.” Merlin’s expression turned to one of fondness. ‘Strangely’ Arthur thought. He wasn’t sure if he should be offended or not.

Regardless, he felt his face flush at the half-compliment.

“Don’t worry, I’ll sing for anytime you want.” Merlin told him. “Oh, but only if you stop spying on me, it’s creepy.” He added, and with that, he walked away.


	5. A Curious Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Just want to let you know I intend to see this through, but the timing may be a bit spotty since it's exam season for me. Please enjoy :)

Slowly, Arthur faded into consciousness, the sensations around him registering in his mind one by one. The soft sunlight, his warm bed, and then music? Well, not music, but singing. It was Merlin, singing the same old song as before. Arthur kept his eyes closed, simply basking in Merlin’s voice. The singing drew nearer, than paused for a moment.

 

“I thought I said to stop creeping on me.” Merlin whispered right beside Arthur’s ear. He jumped, his heart jumping with him. He opened his eyes and looked up at his servant.

 

“I... wasn’t.” A frown affixed itself to Arthur’s face, but it’s influence reached no further than his expression. He wasn’t particularly upset about anything, and it seemed that the frown was merely for show.

 

“I’m not as dense as you’d like to believe, sire.” Merlin patted Arthur's shoulder and walked away. Arthur rolled his eyes.

 

“You’re lucky I’m not easily scared Merlin, you could’ve lost you head.” Arthur glanced at the sword he kept beside his bed. The statement sounded more like a threat than he had meant it to. Arthur was genuinely concerned that he might hurt Merlin on accident one of these days because of his paranoia.

 

“At least I’ve got one to lose.” Merlin muttered across the room.

 

“I heard that.” Arthur groaned as he sat up from his bed.

 

“I know.” Merlin had become far more bold after Arthur had told him why he was creeping on him, and this did not slip Arthur’s notice. However, he was conflicted about how his servants actions made him feel. On one hand, Arthur knew that his cheeky attitude would get them both in trouble if they were seen interacting this way in public, but on the other hand, Merlin’s sass brought a smile to Arthur’s face, especially when it was directed towards him.  God, Arthur was beginning to think he was losing his mind. “You alright there, Arthur?” Merlin called from the other side of the room.

 

“Fine, Just thinking.” Arthur responded.

 

“You, thinking? Don’t hurt yourself, Arthur.” Normally, Merlin’s insolence would piss Arthur off, but now he simply let out a low chuckle, shaking his head.“You sure you’re alright, Arthur?”  _ Was he? _

 

“Why do you ask?” Arthur asked casually, knowing fully well that he was acting strange but not wanting to admit such to his friend.

 

“You haven’t thrown anything at me yet this morning.” Merlin pointed out, entering Arthur’s field of view as he spoke.

 

“Ah. I suppose I haven’t.” He agreed, yawning loudly. He could feel his joints ache in unison as he stretched his arms upwards.

 

“And I’ve spoken to you.” Merlin added.

 

“You have.” Arthur agreed again, finally standing from his bed.

 

“I’m not sure if I should be more worried or thankful.” Merlin made his way back out of Arthur’s line of sight.

 

“Well I’m going to need a shirt regardless of what you choose.” The aforementioned shirt promptly hit the prince in the side of the head. 

 

“Merlin.” Arthur said sternly.

 

“Yes?” Merlin looked at Arthur with a mock innocent face, eyes wide in false questions and small frown in place.      

 

“Don’t push your luck.”

 

“I didn’t, I threw it.”


	6. Should've Kept My Mouth Shut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, school's been killing me, but after this week I'll be all done!

“Arthur, what’s bothering you?” Merlin asked casually as tugged at the straps of Arthur’s armour. Arthur was getting ready to go train. Or, more accurately, Merlin was getting Arthur ready to train.

“What?” Arthur responded, not really thinking about his words.

“What’s bothering you? You’ve been acting strange. You’ve been nicer. Quieter. Are you planning on killing me? Want my last moments to be the nice ones?” Merlin wondered allowed, his words carrying both sarcasm and worry at once, somehow. 

“No!”Arthur knew he was right, that he was being weird, but he was hoping it wouldn’t have become a subject of conversation the way that the singing had.

“Then tell me, you arse!” Merlin yanked on the strap in his hands to punctuate his point, making Arthur lose his balance slightly. 

“Oi, not an arse.” Arthur grumbled, regaining his footing. That one hadn’t even been clever.

“You could’ve fooled me.” Arthur chuckled again.

“That! There it is.” Merlin let go of Arthur completely and rounded him to face him. Placing his hands on his hips, Merlin had began to remind Arthur of a scolding mother.

“What?” Arthur challenged. 

“Every time I’ve insulted you today you’ve laughed it off.” Merlin’s eyes were closed into slits that peered at Arthur like he were looking through blinds.

“So?” Arthur shrugged.

“So you’d’ve usually slapped me silly by now.” Merlin gave him a look. A look that said “I know what you’re doing, and I’m not falling for your bullshit.”.

“Missing it, then?” Arthur squared his shoulders, not missing a beat.

“No, no, I wouldn’t say that. Just… worried is all.” Merlin stepped back, and Arthur realized how much he really had been hitting Merlin before. He felt… bad? 

“I can take care of myself, Merlin.” Arthur rubbed at the back of his neck, sighing.

“Physically, maybe.” Merlin’s hands dropped from his hips. He looked defeated.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Arthur questioned, genuinely wondering what he was intending.

“Nothing, nothing.” Arthur was beginning to think that Merlin was trying to get him to hit him. Arthur was also beginning to think… no, that couldn’t be right. There was a short pause, in which they both seemed to be submerged in thought.

“Merlin, what song is it that you keep singing?” Arthur asked quietly, as if he really didn’t want Merlin to hear him ask at all. Arthur was not used to being nervous about things, so why was her nervous to ask Merlin such a simple and innocent question.

“Oh, I’m not really sure. My mom back home used to sing it to me.” His mom? That seemed to fit with the cadence of the song, how it always sounded like a lullaby to him. But that left Arthur with the same question he had had before. Where had he heard it before? His own mother… well, he had never met her. “-thur?” Arthur came back to when Merlin began shaking his shoulder. “You still in there, Arthur?” Merlin was looking at him with a sort of amused concern.

“Yeah, ‘m fine.”

“You’d think with all the deflecting you’re doing you’d be better with a shield.” Merlin grumbled under his breath.

“What?” Arthur turned to look at him.

“Nothing!” Merlin gave him a hearty shove out of the armory and into the field. As Arthur turned to reprimand him (only partially on his own behalf, mostly to save face). One of the knights called from the other side of the field. Oh well, as long as they didn’t notice.


	7. Seemed Like a Dream

A slow, melodious voice lay in the back of Arthur’s consciousness, the misty landscape clouding his eyes making the sounds all the more prominent. ~ _ Unicorns lay with ~  _ The dark clouds around his eyes swirling and transforming in a way that kept him entirely transfixed. ~ _ their maidens fair~  _ As he watched in wonder, the clouds began to glow with a soft light. ~ _ Oh how I wish ~   _ The glowing mass began to grow and change, and Arthur felt the need to squint. ~ _ I could bring you there~  _  As it grew even more intense, Arthur attempted to put his arm up to block his eyes, but found he couldn't move. ~ _ To wonder and magic~   _ Arthur was beginning to panic. He attempted to call out, but no sound came _. ~and pixie dust~  _ Was he even breathing? Was he-

 

Arthur awoke with a loud gasp, bolting straight up in bed.

 

“Arthur?” Merlin called from the other side of the room as he approached him. Arthur’s chest was heaving as he attempted to even his breathing. He seemed to have broken out into a cold sweat. “Hey.” Merlin sat on the side of the bed close to Arthur. His hand slowly drifted up and landed on Arthur’s shoulder. Arthur jumped at this, and looked up at Merlin as if he had not noticed him before.

 

“Mer...lin?” Arthur’s voice was quiet, just above a whisper.

 

“Are you ok?” Merlin asked him, gripping his shoulder.

 

Arthur swallowed thickly. “I… think so?” He was still shivering slightly, but felt like he had finally snapped out of… well, out of whatever that was. 

 

“You’re so…  _ clammy _ .” Merlin said, taking his hand off Arthur’s shoulder.

 

“Ugh, shut up, Merlin.” he gave his servant a half-hearted shove.

 

“Feeling better, then?” Merlin gives Arthur a pointed look, getting up from his bed and going back to whatever menial task he had been working on before Arthur had awoken. Arthur felt strange, as if he were still stuck in a dream. His vision was hazy, and he felt off-balance.

 

Despite this, Arthur began to attempt to get up. Swinging his legs over the side of his bed, he steeled himself, his spinning head making him feel as if he might just fall over as any moment. Placing his feet on the hardwood below him, he stood; and immediately sat back down.

 

“Merlin?” Arthur called his servant.

 

“Yes, Arthur?” Merlin turned to look at him.

 

“Tell father I’m sick.”


	8. Long Days, Long Nights

Arthur awoke in a cold sweat yet again. Despite the fact that Gaius had come to his chambers, checked him over, and seen no issue, he was continuing to  _ have _ issues. At this point in time, Arthur was beginning to suspect that this time around, it really was witchcraft, his father's favorite calamity.

 

Knowing fully well he wouldn't be able to stand right away, Arthur stayed in his bed. Back resting against his pillow.

 

He had seen the same glowing figure. It seemed that for some reason each time he dreamt of the figure that it was closer, clearer. Frankly, Arthur was scared to know what would happen when the dream came to full realization, when he could see who the figure was and what they wanted. He wondered fleetingly if this was yet another magickal jab at the king. 

 

Speaking of his father, after realizing what was happening, his father had effectively banned Arthur from leaving his chambers. Since that had happened, Arthur had been going stir crazy. The more he sat and waited, the more he felt the urge to make a rope out of his bed sheets and venture off into the night.

 

After all, the dreams only made it so he felt strange and weak for the first hour or so of his day; nothing more.

 

Uther did not see it this way. As he usually did in his paranoid mind, Uther saw it as another magick user trying to overthrow him through his son.

 

Arthur was yanked from his melancholy thoughts when the door to his chambers opened, revealing Merlin, who was holding a breakfast tray.

 

"Good morning, sire." Merlin seemed more tired than usual. He had little to no emotion in his voice and his cadence was far weaker, much less his actual appearance. The bags that had already been under his eyes had grown darker, his eyes seemed permanently half-closed. To say the least, it seemed Arthur wasn't the only one who was having a hard time sleeping.

 

“You look tired.” Arthur commented, without truly thinking about his word before he said them. 

 

“I could say the same to you, sire.” Merlin shot back, though with not near the amount of enthusiasm Arthur had grown accustomed to. Since Uther had stationed guards around Arthur’s door Merlin had begun to call him “sire” a lot more. Arthur could tell that it was simply and attempt to keep up appearances, but he couldn’t help but wish Merlin would just go back to using his name. “Sire” sounded oh so impersonal.  

 

Merlin approached Arthur’s bed and placed the breakfast tray on the nearby nightstand.

 

“You really do look exhausted, Merlin.  What is it that you’re doing?” Arthur pushed a little more, hoping to get an answer out of his manservant.

 

“Other than dealing with a prat all day?” Merlin responded. As per usual there was no malice in his voice.

 

“Merlin.” Arthur was craving literally anything that wasn’t in this room. Even if his servant were to answer with stories of long nights at the tavern Arthur would be pleased. More pleased than with silence.

 

“I’ve been busy, is all.” Merlin sighed. “Speaking of, I have something to get from Gaius. I’ll be back.” Merlin had slipped back out the door faster than Arthur could say anything to him.

 

Sighing deeply, Arthur sunk back into his pillow, head thudding dully against the headboard. Merlin had been his only hope to escape this room. Perhaps only mentally, but an escape nonetheless.

 

Glancing over at the small assortment of food on his nightstand, Arthur felt nauseous. Today was going to be a long day.    


	9. Haunted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~
> 
> Hey, please comment if you're still reading this. I'm not sure if I'm going to finish this story otherwise 
> 
>  
> 
> thanks
> 
> ~~~

Merlin burst through the door to Arthur’s chambers like a flood through a dam, the excitement radiating from him in waves.

 

It was practically midnight, and Merlin had been gone all day. Arthur had frankly thought that he was going insane alone in his day all day. Arthur was used to being preoccupied with  _ something _ , but for the past two days all he’d really been able to do was sit and think. In Arthur’s opinion, he had had far too much time to think. He thought himself in circles, exploring every possibility to every little thing that was currently in his life.

 

During that time, he had wondered if this is what it’s like to be Merlin.

 

Speak of the devil, Merlin was now practically launching himself onto Arthur’s bed, where Arthur himself was sitting. Arthur, for his part, could not recall a time where he had seen Merlin this excited. It was… endearing?

 

“Arthur! Look, I found something.” After Merlin had successfully landed, he proceeded to shove a large book into Arthur’s lap. The tome was heavier than Arthur’s chest plate, and thicker than a tree trunk. Finally, Arthur was beginning to understand why Merlin had gotten stronger since he had moved in with Giaus.

 

“What? Merlin-”

 

“Just look! It’s about your nightmares.” Confused and intrigued, Arthur looked down at the book before him.  Instead of the familiar language that Arthur was used to, the page was riddled with squiggles and shapes. Arthur had no idea where they came from, much less what they meant.

 

“Merlin, I can’t read this.” Arthur turns to him, plopping the book back into his servants lap.

 

“Right. I forgot. So, um. It basically talks about spirits and stuff causing dreams. Like, when people die and they still have stuff to tell you, they can come b-”

 

“Merlin. Are you serious? This is just some book.”

 

“I know.”

 

“We’re talking about  _ ghosts.” _

“I know.”

 

“And this is really-”

 

“I know. Just- just hear me out for a second. Giaus said that there was nothing wrong with you, and we don’t have any other leads. How can it hurt to look into this?”

 

“It could be a complete waste of time.”

 

“I could  _ not  _ be.”

 

“Fine. What does it say?”

 

“Well, you said you keep seeing a figure in the dreams, yeah?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Well, it says here that they’ll go away if you talk to them.”

 

“ _ Really? _ ”

 

“What?”

 

“I knew you were stupid before Merlin, but I never knew you were  _ this dense.” _

 

“Hey, I-”

 

“Was this what you were doing all day?” Merlin looked at Arthur with an almost a wounded look. He had, after all, been working on this all day. Merlin had been losing sleep over this, as soon as Arthur had explained the dreams to Giaus (in front of Merlin, obviously), Merlin had spent whatever time he could attempting to figure out how to help the prince. I had occurred to Merlin that Arthur would not believe him, but his excitement had overpowered the anxious thoughts.

 

“I’m sorry…” Merlin hung his head in a very literal way, closing the large book he had carried with him and beginning to leave. Arthur, after realizing what he had done, felt terrible. His friend had simply been trying to help him, and all he had done was push him away.

 

Merlin hovered by the door, holding the heavy tome cradled in his arms.

 

“Do… do you need anything?” Merlin rocked on his heels, leaning back to counter the weight of the book in his arms. 

 

In truth, Arthur hadn’t needed a thing all day. Uther had sent him a replacement servant the moment he knew Merlin had gone missing. Arthur had merely pined for the company, in all honesty. 

 

“I’m good.”

 

With that, he was gone.


	10. Far Too Fragile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry for the wait, I'm running low on creative juices, but I'm gonna finish this for sure!
> 
> (One more chapter after this one, folks)
> 
> :)

Arthur was beginning to have doubts. It had been two nights since Merlin had brought him the book. Two nights in which he barely slept. Two days in which they hadn’t found an answer. To sum up, Arthur was getting far too tired. At this point, he was going to just listen to Merlin and see what came of it.

 

It was late evening, and Arthur was acutely aware that night was crawling ever closer. As the sun set, the sky faded from robin’s egg blue to brilliant shades of pink and orange, and then to a dark maroon. Arthur watched as this happened, lazily picking at the supper that had gone cold long ago. He listened quietly to the shuffling of Merlin milling about in his room, humming softly.

 

The dark maroon was slowly drained of its color, leaving Arthur with nothing to stare into but the velvety black blanket of night; stars scattered about like rhinestones spread across the aforementioned fabric. Arthur knew it was time to talk. He had a feeling Merlin knew too.

 

Arthur was waiting. Hoping that Merlin would start the conversation so he wouldn’t have to. Merlin, however, didn’t even know what Arthur needed to talk to him about.

 

“Merlin,” Arthur said, not yet turning from his perch by the window. The shuffle of activity that was Merlin slowed to a stop, quiet footsteps approaching daintily, as if to not startle the prince.

 

“Yes, Arthur?” It was a relief to hear his own name. It had been far too quiet, far too lonely. Arthur turned to find his servant standing meekly, hands folded together. It was the fragility in his stance that suggested Merlin was not reflecting his own feelings, but his prince’s.

 

“Tonight….” Arthur cleared his throat, collecting his thoughts. He had been dreading this for a reason. Arthur was not usually forthright with people, even Merlin, despite telling him most things. Sharing feelings… well, that wasn’t Arthur’s strong suit.

 

“I’m not saying you’re right, but…” Arthur rubbed at the back of his neck and sighed. “I think I’m willing to try. Well, try whatever it is you read in that book.”

“Really?” Merlin looked completely shocked. He had good reason to be, after all. Arthur was extremely stubborn, and admitting that Merlin was anywhere close to right was completely out of left field. 

 

Arthur knew that. That was part of the reason he was having such a hard time talking to Merlin in the first place.

 

“ _ Yes _ .” Merlin looked puzzled, and for what reason, Arthur could not decipher. “What?”

 

“I get it… but why are you telling me?” Merlin asked.

 

“Well,” Arthur was hoping Merlin would’ve just gone along with it, that he wouldn’t have to explain that for once he was  _ scared _ . “I guess I just…” Arthur sighed deeply. “Do you think you could stay?”

 

“Stay here?” Merlin looked even more confused than he had before.

 

“Yes. Not that I think you can protect me or anything, but maybe, well honestly-” Arthur was beginning to babble.

 

“ _ Arthur.” _

 

“What?” Arthur looked at Merlin, realizing that his gaze had wandered just as his words had.

 

“Of course I’ll stay.” Merlin looked at Arthur fondly, and with a hint of exasperation. 

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes, obviously. I’ve been trying to help this whole time.” Merlin put his hands on his hips, eyebrows raised at he looked at Arthur. That was right, wasn’t it? Merlin had done more to fix Arthur’s dream problem that Arthur himself had. Arthur was beginning to realize that Merlin may not only be  _ right _ about something, but Arthur may be  _ wrong. _ The idea shook Arthur to the core. Not that it hadn’t happened before, but in this instance he may have to actually  **admit** that to Merlin. That was the last th-

 

“ _ Hello?” _ Merlin interrupted Arthur’s trainwreck of thought. “You still there?” Merlin rapped his knuckles lightly against the side of Arthur’s head. Arthur shook his head, sighing.

 

“Sorry, I was lost in thought.” Merlin nodded, giving him a concerned up and down rather than the smart comment he would usually dish out. There was a tense pause in which they both looked away from the other. It was as if they both held their breath for a moment. Neither wanted to move, to break the silence. After what seemed like a century of silence, Arthur cleared his throat. 

“I’m going to go change.” He said, and with that he strode over to his dresser, leaving Merlin to marinate in the silence they had created together.

 

As Arthur dragged himself into his nightclothes(on his own, for once), he began to hear Merlin singing across the room. It was the same tune, the melody soft and dainty. The smooth sound sent chills up Arthur’s spine, a deep feeling of dread settled itself in the pit of his stomach. It was completely confusing. He loved Merlin's voice, the song was beautiful, but the association with his nightmares left him chilled to the bone.

 

He made his way back over to the other side of the room, body heavy and sluggish as if he were dragging a ball and chain behind him by both feet.

 

Merlin had peeled back the blankets, and was now quietly fumbling with his hands.

 

Arthur sat on the bed gingerly. The whole room had an air of fragility, and neither of them wanted to break it. Arthur, movements feeling far too slow, laid down in his bed, pulling the covers over himself. He was extremely aware of Merlin staring at him as he did so.

 

“Arthur…” Merlin’s voice was barely above a whisper.

 

“Yes, Merlin.” Arthur finally met his eyes, and Merlin looked completely lost.

 

“Erm… where exactly do you want me to sleep?” Arthur hadn’t thought of that, if he were to be honest. Far too tired to ponder it any longer, he sighed.

  
“Get in the bed, Merlin.”   



	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the last chapter! I hope you guys enjoyed. (even though I'm bad at uploading consistently)
> 
> Side note- if yall would be interested in some fanart to finish this one off let me know :)

Arthur watched in wonder as his familiar dream began to unfold. The usual worry that came with it settled into his stomach, the misty, glowing landscape slowly fading into his vision. ~ _ fairies dancing through the morning air~ _   The familiar singing voice made its way into his mind, the soft female voice seeming to echo around his skull. ~oh how I wish I could bring you there~ Arthur took a moment to take a deep breath. He was here for a reason. This had to stop. He couldn’t keep going like this. Exhausted, isolated, confused. At the very least, he had to try. ~ _ to wonder and magic and pixie dust~  _ Calming himself, Arthur willed himself to speak. Unlike the first time he had tried to scream, his voice came out clear, as if his intention in itself changed his voice. 

 

“Hello?” His own voice sounded foreign to his own ears. The eerie singing stopped, and he almost missed it in the silence that followed. He watched as the misty atmosphere shifted, and a familiar glowing figure slowly appearing in the mist. As it approached Arthur’s heart pounded harder than it ever had before, he only wished he could move. Not to run, simply to clench his fist or tense his jaw; anything to release some of the tension.

 

_ “Hello, Arthur.”  _ It was the same voice that had been singing to him all this time. The figure’s face finally appeared, and Arthur’s heart stopped. It was a face he had only heard of, one that he had only ever seen in paintings. His mother. If Arthur could have cried, he would’ve.

 

“Mom?” The word slipped past Arthur’s lips before he realized it was even there.  Igraine came ever closer, reaching out as if to caress her son's cheek, but Arthur felt nothing.

 

“My time here is sort, Arthur; and I have much to show you.”  Her voice was soft, but there was an urgency to it.

 

“Show me?” Arthur, as per usual, was ignorant to the situation. Before Arthur could ask any more questions, Igraine placed her hands on Arthur’s head and his vision faded away.

 

In its place a new scene unfolded, himself and Merlin, far before they had really come to know each other. A singing Helen stood in the center of the room, the people at the table wilting like flowers as she quite literally sang them to sleep. His focus was turned to Merlin as she drew back her arm to throw a knife at past-Arthur. To his horror, Merlin’s eyes flashed that tell tale gold, and a chandelier came crashing down on her.  As he processed what had just been revealed to him, the scene continued to play out. The court, along with past-Arthur awoke, confused as to what had happened. The now withered looking women pulled herself up, not satisfied with her plan thwarted. As the knife came flying through the air at past-Arthur’s face, Arthur remembered this moment. The moment that started it all. Merlin had pulled him out of the way just in time. Just before he did so, Merlin’s eyes flashed again, and time seemed to slow for him.

 

Arthur didn’t know how to feel.

 

The scene switched again, and he was watching Merlin as he lay on the floor in Giaus’ chambers, one hand still in a scrub bucket. 

 

“Merlin, on your feet, Arthur may be gone but I’m not.” Giaus scolded him as he walked into the room. “Why is my leech tank still dirty? What gave you the idea that you can sit around all day doing nothing?” Giaus crossed his arms, stern posture matched by his trademark arched eyebrow. Merlin, for his part, looked flabbergasted; if not offended.

 

“Wha- do you think I sit around and do nothing?” Merlin asked, pulling himself up from the floor. “I haven’t had the chance to sit around and do nothing since I arrived in Camelot, I’m too busy running around after Arthur!   _ ‘Do this Merlin, do that Merlin!’   _ and if I’m not doing that I’m doing chores for you! If I’m not doing that, I’m fulfilling my destiny! Do you know how many times I’ve saved Arthur’s life? I’ve lost count.” Arthur’s heart fluttered at that. “I’ve fought griffins, witches, bandits. I have been punched, poisoned, pelted with fruit; and all the while I have to hide who I really am because if anyone finds out Uther will have me executed! Sometimes I feel like I’m being pulled in so many different directions that I don't know which way to turn!” The scene faded away, and Arthur was left speechless. 

 

“Arthur.” Igraine appeared before him again. “Do you understand?”

 

“That Merlin has ma- that he lied to me?”

 

“There is a difference between lying and not telling you something, Arthur. He was merely protecting himself.” Igraine sighed, looking at her son with a hint of frustration. “Clearly, you haven’t seen enough.”

 

Memories flipped through Arthur’s head like a slideshow. All from a perspective that was not his. They seemed to pass in naught but a few seconds, with Arthur somehow catching all of the nuances. Each time, Merlin used magic. Each time, it was for Arthur.

 

As Igraine pulled Arthur back to her. It clicked. Merlin had magic, yes, but he only ever used it for Arthur or other’s sake. Merlin not only wasn’t evil for using magic, he seemed… better for it? 

 

“Arthur?” She asked quietly.

 

“I understand. What… what should I do?” Arthur asked her, desperate for more answers.

 

“Go to him, love. And know that I am with you.” With that, she disappeared. 

 

Arthur opened his eyes slowly, relishing in the sensation of recent sleep. His familiar canopy hung above him, a sight for sore eyes to say the least. With all that had happened- all that he had learned of Merlin, Arthur felt more exhausted than he had when he went to sleep. 

 

Speaking of Merlin, He was pressed firmly against Arthur’s side, and it did not seem to be of his own doing.  Arthur seemed to have grabbed his servant in his sleep, both of his arms remaining around him even as he woke. Arthur thought a silent plea to his heart to stop beating quite so hard. He didn’t want to wake Merlin, not only for awkwardness’ sake, but because Arthur needed a moment to collect his thoughts.

 

Merlin was a sorcerer, that much was clear. Merlin also seemed to be of pure intent, as far as Arthur had seen in his dream. It was also apparent that not only was Merlin a lot more capable that Arthur had thought, he also seemed to care a lot more about Arthur than he had thought.

 

Arthur had decided two things: Arthur would be keeping Merlin’s secret, and that he was about as keen as a lump of wood. (Not that he would ever tell Merlin that.)

 

Merlin shifted in Arthur’s arms, clearly on his way to waking. Arthur, in all his wisdom, snapped his own eyes shut, not wanting to have to explain to his manservant why exactly he was wrapped around him like a boa to a mouse.

 

Merlin seemed to still suddenly, as if he had just realized the predicament he was in. But instead of wiggling his way out of Arthur’s arms, as Arthur had expected him to do, Merlin did not seem very keen on moving. Merlin’s spindly hand made its way to Arthur’s and gave it a gentle squeeze. He was definitely awake, so why…? 

 

Arthur realized something there and then. Not only was his servant loyal to no end, it also seemed that Merlin was fond of Arthur in  **that** way. Yet again, Arthur was feeling stupid for not noticing something sooner.

 

Opening his eyes, Arthur looked down at Merlin. His manservant’s eyes widened.

 

“Sire?” Before there could be any more discussion, Arthur leaned over and pressed his lips to Merlin’s. 

  
“My name is Arthur,  _ honestly _ Merlin.”


End file.
